Crime(s) of the Century

Posted: June 29, 20091:00 am Eastern by Doug Powers © 2009

Now they're planning the crime of the century Well what will it be? Read all about their schemes and adventuring It's well worth a fee So roll up and see How they rape the universe How they've gone from bad to worse Who are these men of lust, greed, and glory? Rip off the masks and let's see. Supertramp – Crime of the Century

The above song needs a plural sequel called "Crimes of the Century," because I'd be thrilled if Congress were only planning one crime at any given time these days, but now there are so many that it's hard to keep up with.

One of those crimes of the century that is still in the planning stages, but is close to unfortunate reality, is cap and trade – otherwise known as the Waxman-Markey bill.

"Cap and trade" passed through the House of Representatives Friday afternoon by a close 219-212 vote. Many of the same politicians who bashed Bernard Madoff over the head for his Ponzi scheme voted to do something similar multiplied many times over – but in order to "save the planet" from evil carbon-based pollutants like … you and me.

Ohio Rep. John Boehner referred to Waxman-Markey as a "pile of excrement" (though Boehner used a different word). Frankly, I think this is an insult … to piles of excrement.

The U.S. government and its collection of worms, weasels and vermin are wonderfully adept at exploiting people who haven't even been born yet, and they're at it again and they won't stop until they're made to stop.

According to the Wall Street Journal, if allowed to pass, cap and trade would likely be the biggest tax in American history – and it will be signed by a president who promised not to raise taxes on those who make less than $250,000. Uh-huh.

The Heritage Foundation found that Waxman-Markey would cost the economy $161 billion in 2020, which is $1,870 for a family of four. As the bill's restrictions really kick in, that number skyrockets to $6,800 for a family of four by 2035.

As with all great schemes, the designers have made sure that they'll be dead by the time everybody wants to kill them.

Selling off America's future, so Al Gore, select members of Congress and the special interest groups that they're attached to like lampreys can profit today, is a crime. These scam artists in Congress need to be put out of business now – and quite a few of them should be rooming with Bernie Madoff.

In the House, Friday's vote was close and came down to the wire, so Speaker Nancy Pelosi tried to sway some last-minute undecideds with Dove bars. That's right, the passage of "the biggest tax in American history" may have hinged on some bloated fence-sitter's hankerin' for an ice cream bar! Ain't politics grand?

There were eight Republicans – hopefully soon to be ex-House members, who had an appetite for ice cream that day, which is strange because you'd think they'd be full up on Al Gore's Kool-Aid by now.

Now the bill is on to the Senate, where those in the know say it faces an uphill battle. Just in case though, take the Pelosi route and call your senator, see Pelosi's Dove bar and up the ante a half dozen Three Musketeers, a gallon of ice cream (specify Ben & Jerry's if your senator is a lib), 10 packages of Laffy Taffy and a Sara Lee cheesecake – and for Harry Reid throw in a couple of boxing tickets. Slaves to instant gratification are obviously easily swayed.

This is even more frightening if you consider that Pelosi and Reid are only about three pizzas and a candy-gram short of securing enough votes to pass national health care – yet another "Crime of the Century" – but we'll talk about that later.

Note: I've taken the Twitter plunge. You can follow my ramblings at ThePowersThatBe.