Don Feder: Why Messiah-in-Chief Deserves the Nobel Peace Prize

WHY OBAMA DESERVES THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE GrassTopsUSA Exclusive Commentary By Don Feder 10-13-09

Some of my colleagues in the fraternity of conservative commentators have expressed shock and consternation that after only 9 months in office, Barack Obama has been awarded the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. They note that he was nominated after just 10 days as president and wonder what he could have done in that short time to merit such distinction.

I believe our president and messiah-in-chief is fully deserving of this major award, for the following reasons:

1. No nuclear war on Obama’s watch – In the nine months he’s been president, we have not had a nuclear war. (“Praise his name!”) Iran has ICBMs and is moving at breakneck speed to acquire nuclear weapons. Our president, fortress of fortitude that he is, knows how to deal with Ahmadinejad and the other mutants who run Iran – unconditional negotiations, coupled with really, really tough sanctions (which have worked so well in the past). If the ayatollahs realize their dream of incinerating Israel, Obama will take the ultimate step of going to the United Nations’ Security Council for a stern resolution.

2. No genocide either – There has been no recorded act of genocide since Obama took up residence in the White House. If there had been, Obama would have known exactly how to handle the situation – offer unconditional negotiations with the mass murderers, after affirming that America is no better than they are and has no right to try to “dominate” them.

3. Defending Islam – His middle name is Hussein, and Islam is the religion of peace. Our president has proclaimed that Islam and the West “share common principles – principles of justice and progress; tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.” (The Nobel laureate offered no examples of justice, progress and tolerance in action in the Muslim world – probably because there were too many to choose from.) He has also proclaimed it his mission to fight negative stereotypes of the peaceful faith, previously not known to be a responsibility of the President of the United States. The international community (Europeans in particular) understand that appeasement of Islam is the road to peace.

4. Winking at Hamas and subsidizing the Palestinian Authority – In July, the administration announced it was bestowing $900 million on the Palestinian Authority – no doubt as a reward for supporting Saddam Hussein, cheering the 9/11 attacks and other expressions of the Palestinians’ love and devotion to the American people. The funds will be used for job creation and will never, ever find their way into the pockets of terrorists, the White House assures us. If you want peace in the Middle East, what better recipient for our aid than the homicidal, jihad-worshipping, anti-Semitic Palestinians.

5. Promoting Palestinian statehood – Hamas-land is sure to be a bastion of brotherhood and anchor of regional stability. In his Cairo speech, Obama pledged “America will not turn our backs on the legitimate Palestinian aspiration for dignity, opportunity and a state of their own.” The Palestinians aspire to sit in their dung-heap villages firing rockets at Israeli communities, unleashing suicide bombers on Israeli civilians and preparing for the final solution to the “Zionist entity.” The 2006-2009 Hamas/Fatah civil war gave us a hint of the pacific nature of a future Palestinian state. The Palestinians have sworn never to recognize Israel and say that a demilitarized Palestinian state is out of the question. But Obama knows better. In his imagination, such a state will resemble a kindergarten class at nap time.

6. Eviscerating Israel – The president believes that Jews building homes in historic Israel is the principal impediment to peace in the Middle East, if not the world. (“The situation of the Palestinian people is intolerable.”) The international community, which hates Israel with a passion, appreciates our president’s intension to pressure Israel into committing state-icide, while reaching out to nice-nice nations like Syria and Iran. Iran’s nuclear program is negotiable. North Korea’s nuclear program is negotiable. But Jews building homes in East Jerusalem (their capital) and Biblical Israel (Judea and Samaria)? No way. No how. With typical, keen discernment, our president has determined that the real threat to peace isn’t a nuclear Iran or raging imams preaching worldwide jihad to reestablish the Caliphate, but a Jewish housewife hanging out her laundry in the Old City.

7. Avoiding bad words (jingoistic terminology) – Like “war on terrorism,” “global war” and “jihadists” – instead preferring non-confrontational expressions like “man-made disasters.” Calling Islamic terrorists “terrorists,” implying there’s a causal connection between Islam and the killing of infidels, will hurt the feelings of groups like Hamas, Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad and may cause them to do something rash. Everyone knows that words start wars – words by the Western victims of Islam, not words contained in the Koran or Osama bin Laden’s tapes.

8. Closing Gitmo – Setting the tone for his peace-at-any-price administration, two days after his inauguration, the Great Community Organizer signed an executive order providing for the closing the terrorist detention center at Guantanamo. Gitmo, symbol of America’s will to resist Islamic terrorism, will someday be a distant memory. No more “enhanced interrogation techniques” which have yielded a treasure trove of intelligence about al Qaeda’s leaders and operations. Who needs good intelligence? Nobel President understands that our nation’s security lies in bad-mouthing America, dumping on his predecessors, subsidizing our enemies, concern for the rights of terrorists and unconditional negotiations.

9. Non-Stop Apologies for America – If a day goes by without the president confessing America’s sins, he begins suffering withdrawal symptoms. At his UN sob session – applauded by anti-Semite Muammar Qaddafi – Obama informed the assembled peace-lovers that “no nation can or should try to dominate another nation.” Isn’t it past time for us to admit our guilt for dominating Germany and Japan during World War II, not to mention that unilateralist Ronald Reagan ordering the sovereign Soviet Union to “tear down this Wall”? The Norwegian Nobel Committee, which believes that all international conflict is the result of America’s will to power, must have thrilled to this declaration of the end of American “exceptionalism” and our new impotence on the world stage. And who better to choose Peace Prize winners than a committee appointed by the parliament of a nation that's last military achievement was under Svein Forkbeard.

10. Proclaiming America no longer a Christian nation – Demonstrating a profound ignorance of history, or willful ideological blindness, Obama insists that America is “no longer a Christian nation” – which must gladden the hearts of secularists everywhere, who believe that Christianity is responsible for most wars and acts of cruelty, from the Thirty Years War to George Bush’s “crusade” in Iraq. Obama’s historical revisionism matches Europe’s. The preamble to a European Constitution, unveiled by the EU in 2003, makes no mention of Christianity in the continent's history. Obama downplays the importance of our Christian heritage, to make way for all of the creeds for which “thou shalt not kill” is not a commandment.

11. Refusing to deploy a missile-shield in Europe – Thus sticking it to those warmongering Poles and Czechs. Putin, a peace-loving former KGB agent (just ask the Georgians), told Obama it was huge mistake. Always the altruist when it comes to dealing with anti-American thugs, the president didn’t even ask for anything in return. In Moscow, he also agreed to reduce our nuclear arsenal by a third or more, including delivery systems, like the B-2 bomber, which can also be used to deliver conventional weapons. The Europeans believe weapons start wars and America has too many. Thanks to Obama, we’ll soon have far fewer. If another totalitarian power in the East threatens war, perhaps the Europeans can mobilize Nobel laureates to defend them.

12. Embracing democratic pacifists like Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro – Obama sided with Castro and Chavez on returning Honduras’s Marxist president to power. These victims of Yankee imperialism – in Castro’s case, oppressed by a U.S. embargo for over 40 years – are favorably impressed by President Let’s-Make-A-Deal. Cuba’s leader for life congratulated the Norwegians for their “positive step” in honoring a U.S. president he can relate to. Chavez, who’s turning Venezuela into a Cuba-clone, called Obama “an intelligent man.” Our president quite naturally gravitates to agents of hope and change, in America as well as abroad.

13. Refusing to acknowledge pro-democracy demonstrations in Iran – It took Obama 10 days – while anti-Ahmadinejad demonstrators were being bloodied in the streets of Tehran – to say anything about the demonstrations. As a Washington Post headline explained, “Obama Seeks Way to Acknowledge Protestors Without Alienating Ayatollahs.” It’s important to avoid offending people who call your country the Great Satan, plot your destruction and support the terrorists who are killing your soldiers in Iraq. When it comes to a choice between reaching out to those who want to be free and appeasing totalitarians, our president has his priorities straight.

14. Not bombing Iran’s nuclear facilities – Barack is about as likely to use force of arms here as Michelle is to become the next Miss America. Not only that, but the Obama gang has made ominous noises about attacking Israel if it tries to do the job for us. Former Carter National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski, who campaigned energetically for candidate Obama, says that if the Israelis fly over Iraq to get to Iran, we should shoot down their planes. While the president hasn’t commented on Brzezinski’s suggestion, it must appeal to his natural, anti-Zionist instincts. Those damned Jews – when they’re not building homes, they’re bombing nuclear facilities in perfectly amiable countries.

15. Abandoning our forces in Afghanistan – Lt. General Stanley McChrystal, in charge of our forces in Afghanistan, says we can’t win without an additional 40,000 troops and the weapons and supplies to equip them. Obama will dither around with the request – saying neither yea nor nay – while our soldiers continue to bleed. (At the end of September, more Americans had died in Afghanistan than in all of 2008.) Obama has also changed the rules of engagement to make it harder for Americans to fight his no-win war. U.S. forces are dying because their commanders won’t provide supporting fire. Avoiding collateral damage to Afghan villages supplying the terrorists is an Obama priority. Also, under the new policy, mosques are off limits – even mosques from which attacks are launched. The Europeans must be thrilled that our president is actually trying to lose the Afghan war, so the nation can be returned to the enlightened rule of the Taliban and once again become a rest and recreation area for al Qaeda.

16. Making war on the CIA – The commander-in-chief has finally found a war he can prosecute with gusto – a war against Bush-era officials of the Central Intelligence Agency who strove to safeguard America in the wake of the 9/11 attacks. In August, Attorney General Eric Holder (who’s probably in line for a Peace Prize himself) appointed a special prosecutor to investigate alleged violations of the civil liberties of terrorists while in detention. A bold move, this. Hereafter, no one will want to get tough in extracting life-saving intelligence from Gitmo guests. (Former Vice President Dick Cheney discloses: “The activities of the CIA in carrying out the policies of the Bush administration were directly responsible for defeating all efforts by al Qaeda to launch further mass casualty attacks against the United States.”) The Europeans, who loath the idea of America fighting back when attacked, are rewarding our president for putting the so-called rights of terrorists ahead of the security of Americans.

17. Mr. Rogers’ interrogation techniques for captured terrorists – Also in August, the administration announced the CIA will no longer be in charge of interrogating terrorist suspects. Instead, the assignment will be given to a newly created High-Value Detainee Interrogation Group (presumably composed of representatives of the ACLU, ACORN, the Council on American Islamic Relations, and the U.S. 9th Circuit Appeals Court). Forget water-boarding, among the inhuman techniques officially banned are sleep deprivation (torture I have personally endured since Obama took the oath of office) and loud music. Limp noodles will replace these violations of the Geneva Conventions. The administration is still debating whether captured terrorists should be Mirandized.

18. Appointing a Director of Homeland Security who understands where the real threat lies – Europeans are eager to de-emphasize the Islamic nature of international terrorism. And Janet Napolitano, Obama’s Director of Homeland Security, tried to oblige. In April, DHS issued a 9-page report warning that the real threat of domestic terrorism was from the people Europeans fear far more than al Qaeda or the Muslim Brotherhood. Law enforcement agencies should keep a close eye on returning veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan, opponents of illegal immigration and amnesties, pro-lifers and those “concerned about the passage of new restrictions on firearms,” DHS declared. Though the report was eventually withdrawn (after fierce bi-partisan criticism and calls for Napolitano’s resignation), at least the Obama administration tried to take the heat off Jihad International, and put it on patriotic, freedom-loving Americans.

19. Not being George Bush or Dick Cheney – As has been noted, in the past seven years, the Committee has given three Nobel Peace Prizes for not being George Bush – to super-flake Jimmy Carter (2002), global-warming hysteric Al Gore (2007) and now to Barack Hussein Obama.

20. To take our minds off the ongoing threat of international terrorism, turning 9/11 into Day of National Service – This was a clever way to distract the public on 9/11 anniversaries, when our thoughts naturally turn to planes flying into buildings and 3,000-plus dead Americans. Instead, the ACORN fellow-travler has turned it into an occasion to celebrate service to “our communities” and building “a better world.” In place of a desire for justice, Obama (who declared the first Day of National Service) seeks to implant in our bosoms a commitment to recycle and plant flowers. That'll teach those terrorists!

21. Closely resembling the other nitwits and frauds who have won the Nobel Peace Prize in recent years – The Nobel Peace Prize has become an award for bashing America, advancing the cause of international socialism, destabilizing the West and generally making the world less safe. Besides Gore and Carter, recipients have included U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan (2001), prototypical terrorist leader Yasser Arafat (along with leftist Israeli politicians Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin – who established the PLO in the West Bank and Gaza), the U.N.’s Wile E. Coyote Peacekeeping Forces (1986), anti-Israel, America-hater Desmond Tutu (1984) and Amnesty International, which thinks capital punishment is a crime against humanity (1977). Every so often, the Nobel Peace Prize is bestowed on a worthy recipient (Lech Walesa, Mother Teresa), as a public-relations ploy, so that the Prize won’t be mistaken for the Order of Lenin.

By the standards of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, President Obama is fully deserving of this accolade. Given the mentality of those who determine recipients, it’s hard to imagine a more fitting honoree – except, perhaps, Neville Chamberlain., posthumously.

Don Feder is a former Boston Herald writer who is now a political/communications consultant. He also maintains his own website,