Life As A Leftist

Right Biasby Nancy Morgan

After much consideration, I have decided to become a leftist. Here's why:

As a leftist, I have a right to a living wage. I was born with this right and under the system of social justice Obama and friends are implementing, rich fat cats are under an obligation to pay for my rights.

As a leftist, I also have a right to free health care, a roof over my head, and food on my table. And as long as I keep voting for Democrats, this right will be protected and, hopefully expanded.

As a solid member of the left, I have the right to abort my baby, and even have other people pay for it. I also have the right to free (taxpayer funded) birth control and my boyfriend has the right to obtain sexual enhancement aids for free. Not that he needs them, but, hey, they're free.

As a leftist, I have the right to indulge in sluttish behavior with whomever I want. Not only that, I can describe myself as 'empowered' instead of merely being a tramp.

Being a good leftist, I have the right not to be insulted. My behavior is sanctioned by my fellow leftists and it has been decided that anyone who insults me is, by nature, a bigot, and therefore of no consequence.

I also have the right to redefine words. And the right to ridicule anyone who objects. Especially if they're white Christian males.

Best of all, I am under no obligation to back up my feelings with facts. We on the left understand very well that any and all criticism coming from the right is motivated by hate and therefore invalid.