My deep dark conspiracy theory

Worth Readingby Patrice Lewis

Some alarming news is coming to light about governmental attempts to disarm Americans through the back-door method of signing international treaties on gun control. Frankly I don't see what an international treaty has to do with domestic gun ownership, but hey, I'm just a simple north Idaho housewife and don't pretend to understand this stuff.

Let me clarify that: I'm a simple north Idaho housewife who's packing heat. And no, I'm not unusual around these parts. Far from it. And that's the dirty little secret our government doesn't like to hear: that millions of primitive unedjikated redneck hicks in Flyover Country are bitterly-clinging, law-abiding gun owners. And we'll only give up those guns when they're pried from our cold, dead hands.

So how will international treaties affect Joe Sixpack here in Real America? What I mean is, international treaty or not, by what actual means will the government go about disarming us when we have no intention of turning in our firearms?

Unfortunately, the answer is simple: Guns are useless without ammunition. And ammunition is something all gun owners need to purchase at one time or another. If ammunition sales are restricted, all those guns become nothing more than clicking machines. This seems to be the favored tactic among progressives. (It's so much safer than door-to-door confiscation, don't you know.)

Naturally, there are many dimwits who applaud these treaties and restrictions. I long ago gave up hope that these people ever read history. It's been documented again and again that disarming citizens is inevitably followed by tyrannical dictatorships and the deaths of millions. I guess the progressives think this time it will be different.

Quite simply, a government cannot subdue an armed citizenry, which is why our Founding Fathers saw fit to include the Second Amendment in the Bill of Rights and why the government has tried, ever since, to restrict that right.

You'll notice it's only the precious Second Amendment we're so eager to turn over to international authority. You don't see our government turning over our freedom of speech or our right to peaceably assemble or our freedom of religion to the U.N., do you? Of course not. (At least, not yet.)

Therefore, I am forced to conclude the government is incrementally and deliberately disarming us so it can stop being a government of, by and for the people and start becoming the "fearful master" George Washington predicted. (His full quote, italics added: "Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.")

Remember, I'm a simple north Idaho housewife. I don't pretend to understand the complexity and scope of international treaties and laws. But I do know this: The only thing that stands between us and an American Hitler is our guns … and our willingness to use them.

As Maj. L. Caudill, USMC (Ret.), wisely pointed out, "Human beings only have two ways to deal with one another: reason and force. If you want me to do something for you, you have a choice of either convincing me via argument, or force me to do your bidding under threat of force. Every human interaction falls into one of those two categories, without exception. Reason or force, that's it. … When I carry a gun, you cannot deal with me by force. You have to use reason and try to persuade me, because I have a way to negate your threat or employment of force."

Take away our guns – disarm us – and the government no longer needs to persuade us. It can force us. And we would be powerless to resist.

If you disagree with this deep, dark conspiracy theory, then please – I beg you – tell me where I'm wrong. Because believe me, I would be thrilled to learn that our government has no interest or plans to disarm us and in fact strongly upholds and supports the Second Amendment.

I'm waiting …

Naturally, disarming a nation is not easy. In a place as entrenched in freedom as America, it must take place over several generations. And so it has. Patriotism is no longer taught in our schools; instead, our children are taught the benefits of groveling before foreign potentates for having the temerity to be strong and successful and (ahem) well-armed. Thus our schools become social laboratories to persuade children, as they grow into adults, to shun firearms and even to think guns are bad. If you don't believe me, show me a government school where the Second Amendment is not only taught, but applauded as the pivotal freedom of our founding documents.

Of course, there's nothing new in this idea of disarming America. The conspiracy theorists have been postulating it for years with accelerating hysteria. In fact, the paranoid among us believe, to quote Chuck Norris, the political stars are aligning for just such a "perfect storm" of domestic disarmament. And remember: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean you're wrong.

Those of us leading humble, ordinary, law-abiding lives in Real America can do very little to stop the terrible chain of events unfolding before our eyes. All we can do is continue to cling bitterly to our guns and our faith, recognizing the two are inextricably interwoven.

Whatever the future holds for our country, it comes down to a question of how we want to be remembered, because we may well be writing our own epitaph. Do we want to be remembered as valiant freedom fighters, heroically trying to force a tyrannical government to adhere to the restrictions outlined in the founding documents?

Or do we want to go down in history as a bunch of spineless sheep who uncomplainingly gave up our freedoms, our God-given rights and our firearms to let a despotic government rule every aspect of our lives?

One thing's for sure. They won't get my Rossi .38 caliber revolver from me until they pry it from my cold, dead hands.

And maybe that's a fitting epitaph.

Patrice Lewis is a freelance writer and the author of "The Home Craft Business: How to Make it Survive and Thrive." She is co-founder (with her husband) of a home woodcraft business. The Lewises live on 40 acres in north Idaho with their two homeschooled children, assorted livestock, and a shop that overflows into the house with depressing regularity.