Liberals And Vampires - Obama May Not Actually Sleep In A Coffin...

..But Wants To Put America In The GraveGrassTopsUSA Exclusive Commentary By Don Feder 05-26-10

Two things are clear: The left controls the culture and our culture is obsessed with vampires.

For the record, I am not suggesting that Barack Hussein Obama sleeps in a coffin lined with his native (Kenyan) earth or that Hillary Rodham Clinton could be dispatched with a stake through her heart, if you could find it.

But, the parallels between liberalism and vampirism are too obvious to ignore.

These days, you can hardly pass a mega-plex without being attacked by swarms of fanged creatures. One website lists no fewer than 80 vampire films out in 2009 and 2010, or pending release.

The third installment of the blockbuster “Twilight” opens on June 30th. On June 13, the third season of HBO’s popular “True Blood” series premieres. In the latter, modern bloodsuckers come out of the coffin, with a Vampire Rights League, Vampire Rights Amendment and human/vampire marriage, but only in progressive states like Vermont, where it’s considered discriminatory to limit marriage to those with a pulse.

“True Blood” offers vamps as a metaphor for what the left calls discrimination. Self-righteously liberal Sookie Stackhouse (who falls for hunky, brooding un-dead Bill Compton) is forever lecturing us on the need to tolerate those who exist on a warm, liquid diet, while “True Blood’s” uber-bigots are religious fanatics called the Fellowship of the Sun. For the left, bigotry is synonymous with religion.

Vampires also dominate bestselling fiction. Anne Rice’s novels (starting with “Interview With The Vampire”) have sold over 136 million copies. Three have been made into movies.

Charlaine Harris’s “Dead In The Family” is currently #1 on The New York Times’ Bestsellers List. Her novels inspired the “True Blood” series. There’s juvenile vampire fiction (adolescents aren’t screwed up enough as it is) and even historical vampire novels, including “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter,” released in March. Coming soon, “Die, Arlen, Die!” and “Curse of the Living Ted,” where a bloated, bumbling senator gets bloto on blood. (“I ah, er ah — is the jugular in the ah neck?)

On a recent flight from LA to Sydney, I had a choice of three toothy thrillers among the repertoire of in-seat entertainment — “Cirque de Freak: The Vampire’s Apprentice,” “Daybreakers,” and the ever-popular “New Moon.”

The creepy character with a B-movie Romanian accent, decked out in tuxedo and opera cape, is passé. The current vampire chic includes moody vampires, troubled vampires, angst-ridden vampires, erotic vampires and people who work for the Internal Revenue Service.

Today’s vampires are exactly the way leftists imagine themselves to be — misunderstood, conflicted, witty, daring, and, above all, devastatingly sexy.

For the secular left, vampires represent the best of all possible worlds — immortality without God. Vampires are liberalism’s ideal super-heroes — a dark version of Superman. (Substitute sunlight for Kryptonite.)

That liberals should feel an affinity for the undead is understandable. There are so many striking similarities:

1. Many liberals resemble vampires — Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Frank Rich, Arlen Specter — do they look as if they’re seen much sunlight lately? One can envision Madam Speaker as the notorious Transylvanian nobleman croaking: “Velcome to my Congress. Enter of your own free will. Care to become a blood-donor?” Conservatives should start a Van Helsing PAC.

2. Like vampires, liberals are parasitical — The left sucks the life out of taxpayers, businesses and the economy generally. The object is to keep the victim alive, but in a weakened state, so they can be fed on for as long as possible. Day after day, month after month, year after year, liberals rise from the crypt, to slurp the blood of the productive.

3. Liberals and vampires both shun religious objects — Dracula recoils in horror, covering his face with his cloak, at the sight of a crucifix. The undead of the ACLU, People for the American Way and the editorial pages of The New York Times cringe at the sight of Ten Commandments monuments, crosses commemorating war dead, crèches and menorahs. The Godless creatures view faith as an intolerable threat to their secular regime.

4. Both reproduce asexually — There are no baby vampires gurgling in coffin-shaped cradles. The undead make more of their kind by putting the bite on healthy humans. Vampires of the left reproduce at colleges and universities, in public schools, in movie theaters and on television. How many little liberals would there be if older liberal vampires — Michael Moore, Oliver Stone, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Maher etc. — didn’t control the culture? Liberals don’t have kids; they bite other people’s children, metaphorically, sucking the common sense and morality out of them.

5. Leftists and vampires exist in the shadows — Vampires conceal their existence, fearing that a general awareness of nosferatu would turn the townsfolk into mobs armed with torches and pitchforks. Fearing detection, liberals also exist sub rosa. They constantly coin new euphemisms (“progressive”) to hide the reality of their existence. It’s rare that one admits what he is, especially a candidate for public office. They don’t want to socialize the economy, draining its lifeblood. They only seek a fairer distribution of wealth. They want to end Wall Street exploitation and instability, not control the financial system. They don’t want to nationalize health care, but to improve the distribution system. They’re not trying to destroy marriage, but to achieve equality for all families. They don’t want to deconstruct America with open-borders, multiculturalism and bilingualism — but to “regularize” the undocumented workers among us and make the country more inclusive.

6. Both unclean species despise and exploit humanity — Vampires view people as an inferior breed which exists primarily to nourish them. Liberal elitists view the common man in much the same way — as milch cows and fodder for their utopian schemes. There must always be more normal humans than liberals in the country. To maintain the balance of nature, predators can never exceed the numbers of their prey.

7. Liberalism has created a culture of death where Vlad Teppish would feel right at home — All its obsessions end in death — of the body or the spirit — abortion and euthanasia, drugs and pornography, the type of sex education that separates sexual behavior from morality. Followed to its logical conclusion, liberalism ends in the grave — for the individual, the family and the nation.

8. Liberalism is dedicated to advancing the interests of homosexuals and Muslims — One uses an act meant to generate life to spread disease and death. (After she’s bitten by Dracula, Mina Harker cries that she’s “unclean.” She’s been infected and can, in turn, infect others.) According to the Centers for Disease Control, what it euphemistically calls MSM (men who have sex with men) account for 4% of the adult male population, but 48% of all people living with HIV in the United States. With its suicide bombers, fatwahs and jihads, Islam is a death cult masquerading as a religion. For 1,300-plus years, it’s been a murder-manufacturing machine. It’s no coincidence that our most dogmatically left-wing president is also the most committed to defending the crescent and the rainbow. Among other absurdities, he wants homosexuals to serve openly in the military.

9. Obama is the Ultimate Vampiric Liberal — In terms of political vampirism, there’s never been a president like Barack the Impaler. With the spending he’s put in place, Obama is on course to double the national debt (to $15 trillion) and raise taxes by $1.4 trillion over the next decade. (Taxpayers, can you feel the fangs sinking in?) He’s publicly apologized to the president of Mexico for Arizona’s attempt to do the job he refuses to do — control our southern border. At West Point, the president said he wants the UN to be responsible for our security. His Supreme Court nominee believes international law trumps the United States Constitution. (The sound you just heard is national sovereignty being sucked out of America.) No, Obama doesn’t sleep in a coffin. But that’s where he wants to put America.

On April 19, police in New Russia Township, in Northern Ohio, arrested Andrew Whiteman as he was staggering outside a Drug Mart at 3 a.m. The Michigan native told arresting officers that he was a vampire who could smell blood and would live forever. He also threatened to eat the liver of a female corrections officer at the jail where he was taken. News reports said nothing about Whiteman threatening to raise her taxes.

If the Senate refuses to confirm Elena Kagan, I think we’ve found Obama’s next Supreme Court nominee.

Don Feder is a former Boston Herald writer who is now a political/communications consultant. He also maintains his own website,