Drunken Sluts, et al.

Chronwatchby Lee Duigon

Girls just wanna have fun, right? Tell that to the folks at the Parkersburg Art Center, West Virginia, and the Lake Lyndsay Lodge, Ohio. These are really nice halls whose owners rent them out for wedding receptions, dances, and similar genteel occasions. They feature amenities such as crystal vases, silk flowers, pin-tuck tablecloths, statuary, and the like.

On March 6 at Petersburg, and April 9 at Lake Lyndsay, the sisters of a college sorority, with their dates, held dinner dances at the halls, rented for the occasion. As reported by thesmokinggun.com, the college girls made a total shambles of both halls.

What kind of a shambles? Oh, the usual youthful antics--feces, urine, and vomit all over the place; rugs, floors, and ceilings ruined by food-fights and spilled liquor; vases smashed, statues broken, silk flowers torn apart; a sink ruined by a young lady and her beau trying to have sex on top of it; hall attendants assaulted; tables overturned--$47,000 worth of damage to the Parkersburg Art Center, claim the owners.

Kind of reminds you of your senior prom, doesn’t it? Or the time you went to a wedding reception and your foot slid out from under you because you stepped in a pile of… never mind.

How unusual is it for well-to-do young people, college students, to behave like stressed-out laboratory monkeys suddenly let out of their cages? I say laboratory monkeys because normal monkeys in the wild would probably behave better than this. They certainly couldn’t have behaved worse.

I wonder what these girls majored in. We won’t discuss the boys because we don’t know where the girls found them. In fact, we aren’t sure we want to know. But just among the girls, how many future teachers were befouling the expensive tablecloths? How many future counselors, business managers, bureaucrats, or even congresswomen were swinging from the chandeliers?

It’s too depressing to ask how many future wives and mothers. “Gee, honey, I can never take you anywhere!” “Mommy, mommy, the bathroom’s over there…”

Perhaps the capers of a few dozen drunken sluts are an unworthy object of our contemplation. But maybe they are worthy. Maybe they tell us something about this cesspool of a culture that we live in. Surely these incidents can’t be unrelated to a general course of cultural decay.

We live amidst a vast panorama of vulgarity, an incessant bombardment of the crude. You don’t have to seek out the filth; it finds you. You can’t even listen to a news show on the radio without being peppered with smarmy ads for various “male enhancement” products, not to mention news reports of assorted celebrities and politicians disgracing themselves. And then there are the reality shows, movies, video games, the so-called music and all the rest, all belching out the same message--sleaze, sleaze, sleaze: love it, live it, be a part of it, 24/7.

Actually, it’s rather surprising that it’s still safe to rent out a hall at all--but then the sleaze merchants haven’t quite finished with this generation, have they? There are still universities that have not yet hosted “The Vagina Monologues,” or how-I-did-it lectures by porn stars.

Dear Leader says, “America is not a Christian country.” Obviously he’s right. If we as a nation have succeeded in anything at all, these days, we have successfully avoided behaving like a Christian nation.

No, we don’t need no stinkin’ Christian morals. We’re doing just fine with the morality we’ve got.

Just wear galoshes when you go out on the dance floor.