Yes, There Are Christmas Haters


In this special season of giving, Hollywood is willing to give people what entertainment executives think the country needs: a vicious, bloody takedown of Christmas. The Dec. 11 episode of "American Dad" on Fox exemplified those with a complete absence of Christmas spirit; it was titled "Season's Beatings."

Father Donovan announces he is running a Christmas play at the mall, so Stan Smith, the conservative Christian CIA agent/idiot dad, expects to play Jesus Christ on the cross. He says, "I'm the most devout member of the church," and he also says, "When it comes to Christianity, that's the money shot." Stan is told he's too fat and is cast as Santa Claus. When he discovers that the part of Jesus has gone instead to the show's bisexual space alien character, Roger, who boasts he's working on his "savior bulge," Stan beats Roger senseless.

Later, people watch the shocking TV news footage of "Santa" beating "Jesus." A reporter says "Santa" used "anti-Jesus slurs" as he yelled, "You don't deserve to be on that cross, you lazy wine-loving bisexual!" The pope holds the phone and says, "Are you watching this (bleeped S-word)?" The priest complains to Stan that church leaders are chewing his "a-- off." Roger the space alien fondly remembers the beating as he watches and recounts how before he went unconscious, he was "finally able to achieve orgasm."

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